Always comes back

The world through my children's eyes:

When I leave, Miss K often asks if I'm coming back.  After 14 months, she still worries about this.  Daily. I know why.

When people let you down. When they don't come back. When they aren't consistent.
Trauma.
Drama.
Loss.
Broken hearts.

I get it.

So, when she said it last week as I was exiting for work (something I do 5 days a week aka, normal), I heard the quiet voice ask - "Are you coming back?"  in that tone of: Are you EVER coming back?, I turned and walked to the kitchen counter where all 4 kids were sitting and asked:
Does Mama always come back?
A: Yes.

Does Mem always come back?
A: Yes.

Yes, I'm coming back!! After nap.
[Pause]

Then I asked a therapeutic question (so I thought):
Who doesn't come back?

There were varied answers but the one for which I lacked an answer:

G:  Daddies. Daddies don't come back.

I flashed my eyes at my Mom who was standing in the kitchen.  Sadness and annoyance and the POed factor of knowing that her Daddy walked out were unifying thoughts - without words.

This is my stable, 100% loved, limited trauma drama child.  Those words spoke volumes about the impact of divorce.

This comment said by G as a fact. 
Her statement caused question in the eyes of Z-man and Miss K. I saw it written on their faces.

I didn't validate or correct.
To her, this is her reality.  To Z and K, they just don't know.  M wasn't engaged - although she is ALWAYS listening.


Men - STEP UP!  To be the Daddies of your kiddies.  To become positive male role models to children without Daddies.

Then, I think about my son.  What makes me qualified to raise a son?  To even think that the outcome will be different than that of so many other men.  That one day he'll stand firm on his commitments. That he won't walk out!  Lord, help us.

And that my daughters will become women who trust.  Again, Lord help us.

And how will they respond as teens, adults, middle aged people - when someone lets them down.  How does this primal wound (loss of biological mothers) and for G, the loss of her Daddy, impact their hearts and their responses.

My heart used to ache for my son who lacked a Daddy. But you know, his heart doesn't know the deep feelings of loss that his sister (with a father) feels. He has different feelings of loss while hers are real and deep.  And honestly, I haven't even processed those feelings/thoughts for M & K - no Daddy.

And how will this be modified once they realize how babies are formed - that men are necessary to create babies.  What will the impact be then.  And the same for M & K.

Ahhhh - the heart of a mother.
The trauma of children.

And then I remind myself - He is the Father to the fatherless.