A different kind of mother aka: Letting Go (some things)

...From the stomach flu episode, I cam to understand that being strong doesn't mean not asking for help, nor does it mean not being scared.  This is probably one of the greatest lessons I've ever received.  I needed to offload some of my responsibilities and free myself a little to manage the load better. I had to admit that I could no longer be the same kind of mother I had been when Dylan was little; it wasn't possible.

I could not be with the kids and be with Randy in the oncology wards.  I had to ask for help - and lots of it.  I couldn't cook dinner every night from scratch using fresh vegetables from the farmer's market, so I gratefully accepted dinners of any kind from the families at my sons' preschool. I don't know if they used organic produce, and I learned not to give it a thought.

I ordered take-out dinners using a gift card generously provided by my husband's colleagues at Carnegie Mellon University.  I even took people up on their offer to unpack my families possessions - yes, even my clothes and underwear...

Was I a lesser mom, wife, and woman for this?  No!  In fact, it made our lives better to let others pitch in.  I had more energy to devote to all of those around me; I wasn't so stressed out and grouchy. It made life seem more manageable, which in turn lightened my mood.

- Jai Pausch - Dream New Drams - pp. 63-64

Some ask how I do it - work FT, parent 5 kids ages almost 2 - 6 years...I do it as follows:

Grace of God.

A messy home.

Children who are bathed ~2-3 X a week.

Family activities vs. every kid in multiple lessons starting at age 2 years.
Focusing on what is really important: Faith, Love, Kindness, Obedience, mixed with some sillies!

With help.

PS - I really enjoyed the book quoted.  It's an easy read about a university professor who is dying - from his caregiver's perspective - his wife, Jai.  Their children were preschoolers during this time and one was just 4 months old at the time of diagnosis.