I want to grow up to be:

Tonight's discussion:

Z - A bike racer. And a race car.
You mean a race car driver?
Yes.

And...a football player.

K - A smoothy.  And a surfer.

G - You already know, Mama (um, I do??)
A gym-girl.

I think that means a gymnast.

M - ?

"Ears like mine"

I found Z-man checking himself out in the bathroom mirror.  He was touching his ears/pressing them with the palms of his hands.

He told me that there was a boy in his class that has ears and hair like his.  I asked to clarify.  He said "flat, down hair" like his (it's short now).

I asked if he was friends with the boy.  No, he's in the other preschool class and his skin isn't the same.

I asked for clarification.  He started to say that the other boy's skin was like mine but stopped.  We figured that the boy has skin between my color and Z's.

This is the 2nd or 3rd time he's brought up skin color recently.  Last time I had to point out that we don't make friends based on the color of someone's skin.  Really?  After one day of preschool that was our conversation!

We select friends based on kindness, interests, liking someone, etc. and not on skin.  We elect not to get in trouble with kids in our class because we want to make the right choices - regardless of skin color.

Innocence is eroding.

First Stitches

I've parented 9 kids, 4 are "mine" plus 1 right now...and we ended the summer (August) with our first ever stitches.

Arrived home at 430 from work and picking G up from a birthday party to find my step dad and kids with a cut across Z's eyebrow - top to bottom/left eye (just like my sister when she was 3).

Stepdad thought it was no big deal or that we should get some butterfly stitches for him since that is what he's done for himself over the years. HELLO dude? He's 5. It's his face. He's MY beautiful boy. Um, no.

To which I swung around and said: Which 2 of my kids are you taking with you tonight while I head to urgent care? He responded appropriately with: "Which two would you like me to take?" The two most difficult right now: G & I. Then, I was in the car with three and off to urgent care.  I saw a neighbor, Laura, on the way out of our neighborhood and asked which place she'd go.  To Brighton we went.

We met a "lovely" (not) 3 year old that after 1-2 hours of her crap, I finally said: "You know, we don't ALL find you very funny. Some people here are really sick and they don't want to hear you anymore." Yup, I said it. I was super sweet about it.  She smiled and it didn't stop her. It was like nobody had ever suggested that the world didn't revolve around her and I was just crazy.  I got lots of smiles from the waiting room. Her mom took her outside to play but that cunning little on wiggled herself back in twice (snowballed the mom). Think of this: Mom who calls her kid Butt, Booger and other nice names loudly in public...classy chick. No wonder this kid wanted to put her bloody band-aid from her filthy (not dirty, filthy) leg on my son's forehead and also tried to kiss my girls while shaking her booty and slapping her butt.

Anyway, I view her as a little gift. Whipped my kids right into shape. They were PERFECTLY behaved for the first time EVER! They knew she was naughty and they didn't want to be like her.

Nurse Linda was awesome. She has 3 kids - 20, 19 and 18...She told me to look her up when the kids are teenagers and she'd take me out for a drink - that I was going to need it with 3 teenager daughters. I think she was serious because she tracked me down and gave me a hi-five before leaving.

Anyway, 2 stitches became 3. Twins watched Dr. Mary B. but were charged without saying a SINGLE word...especially because K is a narrator of every event. M was totally into the whole thing watching every step. I think she'll end up in a medical field. Z didn't cry once! He doesn't even know he had two needles in his head. After he asked if she sewed into his head like I sew in my sewing room - motioning how that happens. I said yet and his eyes got huge with a smile. 

He's already telling war stories.

Came home to step dad who was headed out of town. Zade insisted that he cook him French Toast. I made the girls eggs. Bed. 

In many ways, it was a wonderful day. In others - holy CRAP - my baby boy.

Now, to see if we can salvage this weekend's planned camping trip.

Oh, how did it happen?  He was running in the house.  (not allowed)  He fell and landed with his head into the frame of the couch.  Slice and a boo-boo welt on his forehead.  Nice :)  I'm wondering if any of them have learned the "no running in the house" lesson yet?  Probably not. ;)

the world through kid eyes

Sometimes I'm just in awe - that I get to see the world through their eyes.  Seriously?  What a gift.

Last week, M had an in-hospital stay for brain testing.  G asked why.  I tried to explain a seizure.  Today someone asked G why M was at the hospital.  Her answer:

"Because her brain doesn't always work right.  Well, sometimes it just doesn't work.  They wanted pictures of it to help it so it would just work. Her brain is kind of broken.  Sometimes."



During the Lobster Festival Parade:
"Mama, this is the best parade I've ever been to in my whole entire life!"  - Z, age 5.

I'm thinking:  This is likely only the 2nd one you can ever remember watching but boy, do I love this enthusiasm.  I literally laughed out loud.  I want to bottle up his enthusiasm for later years or gloomy days.

I also want to ship all of that candy away to the Halloween Parade monster.


3 teenagers were baptized today.  I ran to get G & Z from Sunday school.  Z asked why he couldn't get baptized.  I said that these three people (1 male, 2 females) were getting baptized because they believe that Jesus is the Christ and he came to save the world and they love him in their heart.  They prayed to God to love Jesus forever to which he responded:  "Well, yeah.  I've prayed for that like a hundred thousand times." Dude, I think we need to talk.


Later in the day, a twin (can't remember which - wait, K) asked:  "Why did the people get adopted?"

To which I was confused.  After asking a number of questions, it was determined that the answer is:  Honey, they got baptized.  Not adopted.  Well, except they will be adopted forever in heaven.  Oh man, why did they have to ask such questions?  I know she wanted to just know about baptism but she asked a pretty deep questions - Accepting Jesus gets you adopted.  Baptism doesn't get you adopted.  But, we also adopt people here.  Getting baptized shows you accept Jesus.  Adopted into the family of God gets you to your eternal father.  It doesn't get you a curl up in the lap, read you a book, kiss you on the cheek, tuck you into bed Earthly Dad - that I KNOW you really want but....Adopted?  Baptized?  It's related.  Who knew?  Kids!

More quotes

K today:
"He runned and he threwed his hat off."  I think we have issues to address....

July 8, 2012:
The things I hear myself say:

"M___, what are you doing? "
Walking the dog.
"We don't have a dog. We have a brother. Stop walking your brother."

!?!?!?

July 8, 2012:
"MAMA!!!!  I have Diary." - Z as he's sitting on the toilet after complaining about a sick tummy.  You get the pictures.

July 2012:
Mom!  That water is very dry. I mean REALLY dry! - G

7/23/12:Z (as he is sitting on the toilet):  I love Jesus! 
me:  Great!  Are you going to love him forever?
Z:  Yes.
K:  You know Jesus will love you for ever - every day.

Z:  Yup.  The poop isn't coming out of my butt.  I think it is stuck in there for ever.

(OK son, I see that connection.  Yup.  The Holy and the throne.  Good.)

9/10/12:  Z - "I know how to run a 'puter.  Can you buy me a 'puter now Mama?" - after his first day of computer class in preschool.  Answer:  Let's start with vocabulary, son - It's a COM-Puter! :)

A different kind of mother aka: Letting Go (some things)

...From the stomach flu episode, I cam to understand that being strong doesn't mean not asking for help, nor does it mean not being scared.  This is probably one of the greatest lessons I've ever received.  I needed to offload some of my responsibilities and free myself a little to manage the load better. I had to admit that I could no longer be the same kind of mother I had been when Dylan was little; it wasn't possible.

I could not be with the kids and be with Randy in the oncology wards.  I had to ask for help - and lots of it.  I couldn't cook dinner every night from scratch using fresh vegetables from the farmer's market, so I gratefully accepted dinners of any kind from the families at my sons' preschool. I don't know if they used organic produce, and I learned not to give it a thought.

I ordered take-out dinners using a gift card generously provided by my husband's colleagues at Carnegie Mellon University.  I even took people up on their offer to unpack my families possessions - yes, even my clothes and underwear...

Was I a lesser mom, wife, and woman for this?  No!  In fact, it made our lives better to let others pitch in.  I had more energy to devote to all of those around me; I wasn't so stressed out and grouchy. It made life seem more manageable, which in turn lightened my mood.

- Jai Pausch - Dream New Drams - pp. 63-64

Some ask how I do it - work FT, parent 5 kids ages almost 2 - 6 years...I do it as follows:

Grace of God.

A messy home.

Children who are bathed ~2-3 X a week.

Family activities vs. every kid in multiple lessons starting at age 2 years.
Focusing on what is really important: Faith, Love, Kindness, Obedience, mixed with some sillies!

With help.

PS - I really enjoyed the book quoted.  It's an easy read about a university professor who is dying - from his caregiver's perspective - his wife, Jai.  Their children were preschoolers during this time and one was just 4 months old at the time of diagnosis.

His Heart

On Friday, May 18th we welcomed a nearly 22 month old little guy to our home.  He came with about a one hour notice.  Short term?  Long term?  Time will tell.

What this meant for Z-man was a "baby" boy.  He's wanted a brother for a while now.  He tells people. me. others.

Now that "D" is here, Z-man is less than happy.  After about 10 days, he asked when D was going to leave (to which, G-girl freaked out...she is in LOVE with D - a rare event around here).

Why?

D is a baby/toddler.  He is assertive.  Z & D have similar personalities.  Z is used to ruling the home as far as the kids go.  D is a threat.  He takes Z's toys. He pushes.  He's aggressive.

For Z, it's his heart.  Z's #1 issues is greed/self centered heart.  He has learned to share with K.  They play well together.  He pushes M around and G is in her own world - yet she has a close bond with Z-man.

D....a new dynamic.

I keep praying that God will use this experience to help mold Z.  I've seen so many improvements in his heart.  he can now share some.  Today at a church cookout he gave a little friend a chip.  Of course it was the smallest chip be had but still - improvement.  Later we talked about giving our best - not our smallest.

I think D is going to teach Z a lot.  I hope that Z's spirit isn't broken but rather his attitude and heart are shaped to love more.  share more.  be more Christ-like.

Z spends rest time in his room jumping on his bed singing to Jesus.  His heart does love...but I'm hoping that Z and D begin to better tolerate each other - and maybe they can become close - depending on the duration of D's stay in our family.

I can see that D's aggressive behavior is improving with Z finally standing up to him.  Both boys need a lot more shaping.

Brothers?  Who knows?  I love both of these little guys.  :)