Two exciting things: Bonding & Publication

After over a week of being at home, I think we've made some bonding progress.

I went back to work on Monday. No problems.

I worked on Tuesday. K was angry - that I wasn't home! She made bad choices BUT she wanted ME! Her "Mom". Those of you parenting children from birth - um, this might not mean a lot personally but for those of us parenting children who came to us at an older age - this is a BIG deal! I'm happy she was angry (odd, hugh!?)

At naptime, M slept and K well, she was angry. No sleeping.

After naptime, M was angry that I wasn't home and K moved on.

We've suspected this pattern for a while - switching personalities/feelings - just a flip/flop between the girls and it seem to happen in that order: one in the morning, one in the afternoon (they take on the emotions of the other). Twins, I'm thinking. Is this a twin thing?

Oh...this is exciting!

When I returned home and learned about the day, it was as I had two two-year-olds climbing, sitting, and just "being all over me"...They couldn't get enough. This is such a good thing.

Oh, and BTW - we got rid of the therapist who just didn't fit our family. Waiting on the 2nd therapist for my TWO YEAR OLDS! What is wrong in this world when 2 year olds are in therapy? Don't get me going!

SECOND THING:
I have had articles published in peer review journals BUT I had my first article in which I was the first author (!!) published in a high-end peer reviewed journal YESTERDAY! Woohoo! A long time in the making but, it is done and I'm in PubMed! wooohoo! Now, to get another one or two out. Maybe aim for one this year?

So, last night: Out to celebrate. Olive Garden - First "nicer" place we've taken the twins. They didn't know what to think of a nice place. I could tell they've never eaten in a place like that - cloth napkins, etc...and little do they know, OG isn't really a "nice" place....We celebrated. Johnna drove. I had a drink. Mom enjoyed some sample wines for a total of $1.25 and the four children were VERY well behaved. Wonderful night. Different. Feels like we've turned a corner...as I hear screams of "no!!!!!" from an upstairs bedroom (twins)....so sad. We've made progress but we have so far to go...

I'm happy with the progress, thankful - at least in this moment.

Potty Training Report

Well, I started to train the girls. 12/27/10

Day 1 Report:
MacKenzie:
3 pees in undies (totally unaware of where she'd peed). Found one spot by stepping in it. Never found one spot.

1 poop in pretty pink undies with heart on front. Those went in the trash.

4 pees on the potty! Very proud. Competitive with sister!

Makayla: 3 pees in undies. Very aware. Came and told me.

1 poop in diaper (at naptime)

5+ pees on the potty! The leader - surprisingly.


Reward: 1 marshmallow for a pee on the potty. 2 marshmallows for a poop on the potty. Kenzie wanted more marshmallows (like sister) so she would go and sit there for a while (on her own).

Great first day! Need to get more thick/training undies and rubber pants but yesterday was a blizzard! Seriously, a blizzard so that will have to wait.

Prediction: Makayla will be trained this week (although the "letting go of the poops" might be difficult for her. MacKenzie - The verdict is still out. Training twins seems easier than singles - Peer Pressure baby!

Oh, and the older kids get a marshmallow if they cheer on the twin(s). I'm seeing a little regression with Zade - peed in his pants today - waiting for a potty but it was really intentional. So, I got out the extra potty chairs today and started handing out marshmallows more frequently to him/G.

Updated:
Day 2 - No accidents with pee - either child. Kenz pooped in unders.
Day 3 - No accidents with pee. Pooped in diapers at nap.
Day 4 - No accidents with pee; Makayla POOPED in the potty! Big Deal. This is all helping her confidence so much!! Yeah, Kayla! And for the first time, Kenz is NOT leading. She's a little sad about that.

Day 5 (Friday) - ...

Little Details - documenting the little things

Well, a month has passed since the girls' arrival. I can't believe a month has already gone by. wow! It's flying. They are doing so well here. Their vocabularies are expanding, they are laughing and playing and just last night - dancing WITH G & Z to the Fresh Beat Band!

My favorite K quote: "Mamamamammamamama! Squirrel on fence!" She can ride a bike with training wheels and both twins can ride the scooters (too early really).

M who couldn't recognize the front of a puzzle piece from the back a month ago can now do 10 piece puzzles and can match colors (fish puzzle).

K has had some regression to infantile behaviors (which I think is a good thing?). She's allowing/demanding that I rock her in my arms before bed. I sign to her. She flops her body like a baby. One night, she even started crawling. M has allowed me to do this twice this week. She watches. I was pleased when she whispered: "Me, too..." to the rocking/singing. I still hear crying and yelling in the night but it is getting better - or maybe I'm getting used to it.

G started preschool on 9.8.10. We went the day before to officially enroll her. She did well (stayed in the classroom for over an hour while I filled out paperwork-painted two pics and had goldfish for snack). She was so excited on her first day because they were having mac & cheese and broccoli for lunch. She came home very hungry. She refused to eat their mac & chees because "it isn't like the mac and cheese we have at home, Mom! It's yucky there. And, they didn't even cook the broccoli!" She did take a short nap during rest time. The teacher said she had a great first day and only about 10 mins before I picked her up had asked: "Isn't it time to go inside?" - they were playing outside and apparently she was ready for the day to be over. After her first day, I took her out for ice cream. She picked bubblegum ice cream. Nice 1:1 time.

She did say that she thinks that this school is the school for her!

She was reserved and quiet and didn't share a lot with me other than she liked painting the best. She was unhappy the next morning when I told her that she only goes to school 3 days a week. She was really ticked and wanted to go Thursday (that day) as well.

Here is my favorite quote from her first official day. She said this as we were up in the morning getting ready for school:

"I don't want to blink anymore. I miss things when I blink and I don't like missing things." - G

Classic.

I sent in my registration for the local Mothers of Multiples today. I'm encouraging another new friend, Stacey, to do the same. She is "expecting" twins - a foster placement late this year. The next meeting is a clothing sale which excites me!

We've been to McDonalds this month and had the McDonalds' (family) over for a playdate. We are having a yard sale on Saturday - purging the baby clothes and gear (I hope that doesn't come back to bite me!) and just living life. Busy. Loud. Appointments. Work. Need a haircut (who has time for that with 4 kids/single mom?)

Update on Z-man: He's maturing a little. Maybe this is how men learn to be quiet - having so many women around. I'm looking for a movie to take him to see (first in-theater movie) so we can have a Mom/Son date. He's sharing a room with Gianna - except, she is sleeping in my room at night (he wakes her up too much!). The twins have Z's old room. Musical rooms but it is working just fine.

Recent Days - kid activities

We;;. a family with 4 kids...I must admit, I've been a little hesitant to go out and about with 4 kids and haven't braved the grocery/box stores yet. Gianna had her last day of swim and Z-man and I went to watch and celebrate as she received her first certificate of completion - ever.






On Saturday morning I got all of the carseats (4) loaded and reloaded. The kids were so excited that they wanted to go for a ride. We did - around the block - well, maybe 2 blocks.

When we came back, our neighbor (Ray) was running his mini train in his yard. We went to watch. K was SCARED and clung to me. M was interested and Z and G were SUPER excited. It got noisy. Neighbor Joan came over and got all excited about the girls' arrival (she's an adoptive mom to a grown daughter). We walked home and played outside for a while until it was time for swim, snack and to get ready for the afternoon.

Middle seat: K & G
Back seat: Z & M
Front seat: Mama (and nobody else!)

Saturday, we ventured to Boothbay, ME where we enjoyed A Day Out with Thomas the Train. What a great first outing. It went well. It wasn't overly crowded which was a gift. Everyone loved the jumpy train, and the hay maze. We ate a subway sandwich for a late day snack (that worked REALLY well). They also rode on the tractor pulled train.

Now the ride on Thomas was VERY, very exciting for Z-man. G complained that there weren't princesses?!?! M was observant and quiet. K was excited UNTIL the train's horn blew. I encouraged her to clap and say "yeah!" which she did everytime along with concerned eyes shot in my direction.

Observations:

M will wander away easily. Boundaries for both are limited and will need to be set. Either will go with about anyone. They could be easily stolen.

A great day was had by all.

From a family of 2 to 4 kids

Well, today is the day that our family grew - 8.11.10 ~5pm. It's a placement through social services. Twin girls, aged 2.5 years.

So I don't forget:
M's first diaper (and 2nd) = poopy

K- ate first, a cracker; and smiled first.
M - ate a bear cracker and liked riding the pink stick horse inside the house.

I saw M first but touched K first - a brush onto the arm/hand.

Today was not as crazy as I'd anticipated. God answers prayers in funny ways and this was one of those times.

(It's 5 am and everyone is still asleep - amazingly - so here is the story):

Got a call ~1050 am while I was at my desk at work. Sounded like a good situation. Then, I heard their names and one of them has "that name" - you know the one when you were a girl that you wrote over and over and over because that was going to be your child's name. Yup, one of the girls has the name I'd always planned to name MY daughter but then when "G" was born I just didn't use it. I literally choked up and the social services worker could tell.

I had 2 more work meetings that I finished and then spoke multiple times to my licensing worker, the previous foster mother and foster father (for all of 6 days) and the foster mother of the sibling (and later in the evening, the sibling's foster father even called to see if I needed anything at the store!)

I was trying to figure out how to secure an additional toddler bed as I have 2 but would need 3 (DS is still in one). Then, the phone rings and the licensing worker says: Don't get beds! They are coming with beds that were purchased last week along with brand new carseats and a case of diapers! Prayer answered AND they were delivered to my house AHEAD of the girls.

I finished up at work (in between numerous calls) but never to the girls' case worker until later in the day. She filled me in on things with the bio family.

You know, when it feels right, it feels right. :)

I accepted the situation on the phone and went home at 4pm to tell my kids. My son was THRILLED and DD was her typical analytical self with a little excitement.

My (former) step father happened to stop by 5 mins later and helped me move a bureau. I quickly kicked (literally) DS's random toys into his closet. Showed him that he's be sleeping with his sister. Gave my kids hugs and stood back and admired them as I knew their lives were about to change - maybe for forever.

We went outside to play.
The beds arrived along with some clothes, cups, spoons, bowls, etc. (Note, in all of the trainings, I'd been told that most foster kids come with nothing. I got freshly bathed, hair kind of done girls with Beds, carseats, diapers and some clothes!!?!?! Thank you, Lord!)

Then, the case worker and the girls arrived (while the former foster mom and her daughter were still in my driveway from delivering beds). The girls were so sweet and happy. (They thought they were coming to play). I'll call them M & K (one has a nickname so that will make her "K" instead of a 2nd M).

They got out of the car, we all played, talked, etc. One let me touch her arm/hand while the other pulled away (M). More play. The case worker and I tried to figure out how we know each other. We grew up in the same town! Small world.

She came inside to show the girls their new beds. Then, the girls "knew" and things went downhill. Case worker gave them BIG hugs, they cried and we all went inside (note as the neighbor watched all of this).

It was sad. They cried for nearly an hour standing at the front door (two side windows - one girl on each side). I finally got one to the couch. No snuggles but away from the window. Then the other (they were together on the couch). More tears. TV on. More tears. Finally, things started to calm down.

I fed G and Z. G, Z and I danced to music. They watched but didn't eat or dance.
Eventually K went to check out the playroom but back to the couch. Then, M. Then, the "where are you" started that I think will continue for some time - 4 kids! wow!

My Mom came in with some extra groceries (milk, etc.). She is WONDERFUL with kids and just sat and on stood beside her and my Mom rubbed her hair which she liked (K). M started rubbing my Mom's foot and made a connection.

I was told that they are fabulous during the day but as soon as PJs come out at night things spiral, eventually into night terrors.

So, ~830 pm (the girls normally go to bed at 11!), I put DS to bed in his "new" room." At 9 pm, all 3 girls headed upstairs, M and K with tears and fear. I sent G to her room and told her I'd be in. She OBEYED! (I later went back to brush her teeth and tuck her in.)

First to bed was M. Then K. TEARS. Note, I put them to bed in their clothes (eliminated the whole PJ thing for one night). Gave them toys, etc. Total fear in their eyes. Then, I decided to leave the light on. People...I think that is it! They went to sleep. No real tears. I did hear them 2X in the night and I can tell that at least M has been out of bed to get a toy but they are sleeping in their beds. No night terrors, at least last night.

Long term - who knows BUT they appear to be a long term placement that is likely to end in an adoption plan. They will/could have long term contact with their sibling (which I'm in favor of!).

Today is the weekly visit with BM. Friday is an unsupervised visit with another relative and then we head to the weekend.

Details:
M and K are identical twin girls (although one is a whole size larger than the other so I can easily tell them apart!). They are biracial and even the case worker mentioned as we watched all 4 kids in the driveway: Wow! They look like they all belong together. Visually, it all works. Seriously, one looks a lot like DD.

Lord, please give us all strength and peace. Also, keep my work load lighter for a couple of weeks so we can adjust.