First Stitches

I've parented 9 kids, 4 are "mine" plus 1 right now...and we ended the summer (August) with our first ever stitches.

Arrived home at 430 from work and picking G up from a birthday party to find my step dad and kids with a cut across Z's eyebrow - top to bottom/left eye (just like my sister when she was 3).

Stepdad thought it was no big deal or that we should get some butterfly stitches for him since that is what he's done for himself over the years. HELLO dude? He's 5. It's his face. He's MY beautiful boy. Um, no.

To which I swung around and said: Which 2 of my kids are you taking with you tonight while I head to urgent care? He responded appropriately with: "Which two would you like me to take?" The two most difficult right now: G & I. Then, I was in the car with three and off to urgent care.  I saw a neighbor, Laura, on the way out of our neighborhood and asked which place she'd go.  To Brighton we went.

We met a "lovely" (not) 3 year old that after 1-2 hours of her crap, I finally said: "You know, we don't ALL find you very funny. Some people here are really sick and they don't want to hear you anymore." Yup, I said it. I was super sweet about it.  She smiled and it didn't stop her. It was like nobody had ever suggested that the world didn't revolve around her and I was just crazy.  I got lots of smiles from the waiting room. Her mom took her outside to play but that cunning little on wiggled herself back in twice (snowballed the mom). Think of this: Mom who calls her kid Butt, Booger and other nice names loudly in public...classy chick. No wonder this kid wanted to put her bloody band-aid from her filthy (not dirty, filthy) leg on my son's forehead and also tried to kiss my girls while shaking her booty and slapping her butt.

Anyway, I view her as a little gift. Whipped my kids right into shape. They were PERFECTLY behaved for the first time EVER! They knew she was naughty and they didn't want to be like her.

Nurse Linda was awesome. She has 3 kids - 20, 19 and 18...She told me to look her up when the kids are teenagers and she'd take me out for a drink - that I was going to need it with 3 teenager daughters. I think she was serious because she tracked me down and gave me a hi-five before leaving.

Anyway, 2 stitches became 3. Twins watched Dr. Mary B. but were charged without saying a SINGLE word...especially because K is a narrator of every event. M was totally into the whole thing watching every step. I think she'll end up in a medical field. Z didn't cry once! He doesn't even know he had two needles in his head. After he asked if she sewed into his head like I sew in my sewing room - motioning how that happens. I said yet and his eyes got huge with a smile. 

He's already telling war stories.

Came home to step dad who was headed out of town. Zade insisted that he cook him French Toast. I made the girls eggs. Bed. 

In many ways, it was a wonderful day. In others - holy CRAP - my baby boy.

Now, to see if we can salvage this weekend's planned camping trip.

Oh, how did it happen?  He was running in the house.  (not allowed)  He fell and landed with his head into the frame of the couch.  Slice and a boo-boo welt on his forehead.  Nice :)  I'm wondering if any of them have learned the "no running in the house" lesson yet?  Probably not. ;)

His Heart

On Friday, May 18th we welcomed a nearly 22 month old little guy to our home.  He came with about a one hour notice.  Short term?  Long term?  Time will tell.

What this meant for Z-man was a "baby" boy.  He's wanted a brother for a while now.  He tells people. me. others.

Now that "D" is here, Z-man is less than happy.  After about 10 days, he asked when D was going to leave (to which, G-girl freaked out...she is in LOVE with D - a rare event around here).

Why?

D is a baby/toddler.  He is assertive.  Z & D have similar personalities.  Z is used to ruling the home as far as the kids go.  D is a threat.  He takes Z's toys. He pushes.  He's aggressive.

For Z, it's his heart.  Z's #1 issues is greed/self centered heart.  He has learned to share with K.  They play well together.  He pushes M around and G is in her own world - yet she has a close bond with Z-man.

D....a new dynamic.

I keep praying that God will use this experience to help mold Z.  I've seen so many improvements in his heart.  he can now share some.  Today at a church cookout he gave a little friend a chip.  Of course it was the smallest chip be had but still - improvement.  Later we talked about giving our best - not our smallest.

I think D is going to teach Z a lot.  I hope that Z's spirit isn't broken but rather his attitude and heart are shaped to love more.  share more.  be more Christ-like.

Z spends rest time in his room jumping on his bed singing to Jesus.  His heart does love...but I'm hoping that Z and D begin to better tolerate each other - and maybe they can become close - depending on the duration of D's stay in our family.

I can see that D's aggressive behavior is improving with Z finally standing up to him.  Both boys need a lot more shaping.

Brothers?  Who knows?  I love both of these little guys.  :)

Date with my Main Man

Today, I took my son with me to run a few errands and eat lunch.  It was great to just have the two of us.

1. Post Office - mailed dresses for orphans and 2 boxes to auntie and prepped a box to return the girls' ripped blankets.

2. Out to lunch - Scarborough Grounds - first time.

3. Returns: Target, Toys R Us and Home Goods.

Best quote of the day:
"Z, what are you thinking about (as he appeared very far away and deep in thought)? "

Nothing.

Really?  Girls don't think about nothing. I think that is something boys do.

Z:  "I'm not thinking about anything, .... except Jesus!"

He's the best!

I also really enjoyed playing with a wind up car while Z-man while we waited for our food.  I loved Z's full on belly laughs during this time!  It was also exciting to watch Z watch the trucks pass along Route 1!  He also showed me all the toys he is hoping for at Toys R Us!  WAAAAY over his birthday budget but I love to watch him dream!

Z was a strong boy and helped me carry a heavy box to the post office.  He also helped push down the take as we assembled the boxes.

Yesterday, he told me he was "not sure" when I asked him if he liked the new little boys staying with us - a 22 month old  boy "D".  I told him that was OK.

I love this boy!

Missing Omega

Sometimes, kids give you the best openings - just when I couldn't figure out how to tell my son that his hero went to heaven this week - He opened the door. Here is how it went:


Z: "Mama, when am I going to heaven? In 6 sleeps?"


Me: "Well, that is a great question! You know, the Bible tells us that nobody knows the day that they'll get to go to heaven but if you love Jesus, you'll get to go!Some people go when they are little and some when they are medium and some when they are very, very old."

Z: "So, everyone in the whole entire wide world will get to go to heaven some day?"

Me: "No. But everyone who loves Jesus will get to go to heaven -someday.Do you love Jesus?"
Z: "Yes."

Me: "Good because some day you'll get to go to heaven!   (pause) Z, you know, I know someone who got to go to Heaven this week."

Z: (big eyes): "You do?! Who?"

Me: "Omega got to go to heaven this week. On Sunday."

Z: "You mean, no more music playing for Omega."

Me: "No more music playing at the Rock Church for Omega but I think he might be playing music for someone very special right now. I think he's playing music for Jesus. And you know, he gets to play music on streets made of gold - like gold coins. FOREVER!"

Z: "Did he get to take his guitar."

Me: "No. He left it for Micah (his son)."

Z: "Is it a little guitar."


Me:  "No, it's a regular sized guitar.  Micah will be able to play it when he is a man.  Or maybe when he's an older boy.

Z: "So what instruments do they have in heaven....and where do they keep them?"

Me: "I don't know. Do you think they could have a whole room of instruments in heaven?"

Z: "Yes. And when I get there, I'm going to play the electric guitar...for Jesus." 


Me: "The Bible says that in heaven there are many rooms so I guess there could be a room for musical instruments.  I do believe that there are many rooms because Jesus wants a lot of people to go to heaven."

Z:  Do the girls' (sisters) love Jesus?"

Me: "Yes, they do."
Z: "You better go ask them RIGHT NOW or they aren't going to heaven."
Me: "Z, I know that they love Jesus because they've told me that - just like you are telling me now."

........more back and forth. Then, I started to leave his room and he said:
Z: "Do you think they have camels in heaven?"

Me: I don't know. Do you think so?
Z: "Yes. I do think so. That way, Omega could hang his guitar on his camel-when he's not playing for God. When I get to heaven, I'm going to have a camel. I'm going to ride on a camel."


Missing our friend and his hero, Omega.  Enjoy Jesus ... forever.  We miss you here.  Seriously, at 33 years He needed you more?  It doesn't seem real but I know, it is His perfect plan.


1 down, 3 to go...I dread telling Miss G.  She already fears death - mine in particular.

quotes

DO not under any circumstances bite that dog's tongue again.

Pick up the dinosaur before the dog eats the entire thing.

You are not a dog.  Use a spoon.  NOW!

Bloody Eyes and a Nosey Nurse

Z-man had his 2nd eye surgery on Friday.  Blocked tear ducts.  Had a surgery before his 2nd birthday and it seemed to work. Until last winter.

Finally got around to dealing with it.  Surgery went well.  A little longer than last time but still under an hour.

I arrived in post op.  Nurse seemed fine. Not chatty.  The subtle conversation about "we like it when they sleep."  Well, this time he slept - over an hour.  Woke up fine.  (Last time - slept 10 mins and woke up UGLY!).

I saw blood up his arm/hand and on his face.

Nurse was distant.

Finally:  "So, where did you adopt him?"
Me:  "Hmm.  What makes you think I adopted him?"
Nurse:  Stumble over words.
Me:  "Arizona - where I lived when he was born.  I have 4 kids all together.  He's the 2nd child of the 4."
Nurse:  "I don't get it.  I just don't get how mothers can do that to their kids."

Can you say: HELLO Customer Service Survey? Oh yeah.

And that follows with all of the "Oh my God" people - from the first woman who greeted us at registration - "OMG, he's sooooo cute!" [Well, he was!  Sporting his yellow rain hat and blue rain boots.]

But, did you note on our file that I listed Christian under religious preference?  There are 10 commandments associated with that one...one is to not use God's name like that.  And it continued with a variety of nurses...the OMG comments, that is. 

Otherwise, his care was great!  Docs, nurses, etc...great!  Even the customer service guy was awesome!

This weekend has been pain management, bloody noses and eyes (weird to see blood coming out of your kids' eyes and NOT be grossed out) and lots of snuggles including middle of the night ones.

Friday night (same day as surgery), I hosted a gathering of the twins' bio siblings at our house.  Yes, same night as surgery.  It was (a lot) chaotic but I'm so glad we did this.  Total of 9 kids across 3 families (not all bio).  Started with dinner (sandwiches, fruit salad and chowder) with apple cider/milk or water and animal crackers.  Then, kids played and made a LOT of noise.  Parents tried to talk but we mostly watched the kids.  So great to see how everyone is changing.

Haven't seen everyone since summer and NEVER all together.

Saturday - Some yard sales. Ride in the country to check out the foliage and "red farms".

Z-man got a fishing pole from one of the twins' bio sib's adoptive father.  Very sweet.  Can you say SMILES all around? 

Tonight:  I'm away for the night. A birthday gift from my mom (the child care part) - a night away.  Some R&R are sooo needed.  Single mom. Career. House. 4 kids.

Z's 4 year photos

~7 weeks late...oh well.

And the boots I really wanted him to wear:  Duck

Garden Boy

Z is the child who has expressed the most interest in gardening. He liked planting, tending and now harvesting.

We don't grow the largest veggies but...they taste good and this teaches the kids a lot. I wonder if he'll grow up to be like our neighbor, Mr. F (aka Mr. McGregor).

morning smile (quote)

Upon successfully changing the channel with the remote control for the first time (ever), Z announces: "Mama, I did it! I figured out the riddle of the TV."

:)

He prayed for his toaster!

Tonight, ALL four kids prayed before dinner. G usually refuses thinking she'll immediately assend into heaven if she prays to Jesus.

Anyway, here is the jist of Z's prayer: Dear God. Thank you for my food. All of my toys. my pillow pet. My toaster. My blanket. Kenzie. Kayla. My Auntie. Mem and...... ..... ..... My Mama. Amen.

HELLO? The toaster?

Granted, we have a red toaster but still - this is an object of importance to him, apparently! Funny boy.

Glue & a Banana

Z only likes whole bananas with a peeling still in place. On Ground Hog Day, I handed out bananas for breakfast (or strawberries - your choice). He picked the banana. He started to peel it. Disaster: The top 1/5 of the banana broke off.

This Mama could see that this was going to be a problem - I mean I had a boy with a face full of tears who was ready to lose it.

I asked him if he wanted me to fix it.

Yes, Mama!

Oh no...how to fix, how to fix?

Purple glue stick.

I applied some glue.

I put the broken piece on the banana.

I handed it back.

Smiles all around.

I held it WITH him so he could eat it.

Amazingly, the HUGE first bite (1/5 of the banana) went into his small mouth at once.

Response: Thank you, Mama!!!!

The things I've done as a Mom - Um...I never imagined.

Joke:

How do you fix a broken pizza? Tomato paste. (Told to me by a pediatric dentist on 2/3.) I smiled thinking - um, a glue stick fixes a broken banana.

_________________________

K told me on 2/3: "Mama, I angry! (grrrr!)

Why, K?

I angry at you!

(I bet you are! I rewarded 2 children for obeying ALL day. You were not one of those children. Perhaps this will motivate you to obey/make good choices vs. intentionally peeing on the living room floor while staring down your grandmother and yelling - I PEE! as well as biting others, throwing blocks at people, yelling in anger, raging in your room, etc... I'm trying to positive reward approach vs. the 'you suck' approach for poor behavior.)

His Bleeding Head

So I had an interesting experience as a parent yesterday. We were 5 minutes away from leaving for a day of appointments:
4 dentist appointments - 2 cleanings, 2 fillings
4 appointments at the pediatrician's office - 4 flu shots
PLUS:
Preschool (and a magin show)
a day of work for me

I'm in the bathroom finish my hair. Z-man starts crying. I could tell something was WRONG but I didnt jump as my Mother was consoling him at the bottom of the stairs and I could see them. I hear:

"Oh, do you see your tears on my face, honey?"
Then, I see her coming up the stairs - with blood all over her face and hand. It wasn't his tears, it was the blood coming out of his head.

He'd fallen. Hit his head on the baseboard and somehow started bleeding from the back/right area of his head.

So my question: Have any of you checked out your kid's bleeding head and realized that there is just no way you can reschedule all of the day's appointments to take him to urgent care?

Instead I said, "Z-man, put your hat on so you don't bleed all over the car or on your new coat. Get in the car. We have to leave in order to make the dentist on time. Thanks."

Well, that is what happened here. I did assess him, watched him closely and kept checking his head. The hygienist and dentist both checked it (both experienced parents) and we all agreed that we wouldn't do anything - as long as it clotted.

He didn't complain too much but let's say that it was a long tough day for him. "Off" all day. Then, we had to end with a shot! ugh. My poor little guy. Mama loves you.

My alternative was going to be: Shave that area on his head and do either the liquid bandaid or steri-strips but by the time we got home from the dentist, there was a nice clot. Honey, if you grow up to be a man who shaves his head, I'm sorry that I let you have that scar. Otherwise, who will know?

G's First Joke

Knock-Knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana Who?
Banana in the shower.

Laughter all around.

Oh no....it hasn't stopped all afternoon.

Z's first joke:
Knock-Knock.
Who's there?
Cow.
Cow Who?
Cow in the bathroom.

Wow, they are nearly ready for Letterman.

Halloween Fun!

After out trip to the ER last night, we had sleepy kids all day Sunday. Zade slept until almost 10 am - no church for us! An extended PJ time is always good (and I got to sew a little bit!).

Story from Paupi's time with the kids:

Z found a new use for the string on his flashlight. This happened as he was undressing to get into his PJs. That meant, no underwear. Yes, he hung the flashlight on his pe*)s... Paupi said it was one of the funniest things he'd ever seen and he almost couldn't stop laughing. He wasn't sure how Z-man got it to hang there. He couldn't repeat it. I thought: How are boys made???

Anyway, Sunday:

1. Cooked with Auntie and Nichole - cupcakes and a cake.

2. Went to the neighborhood Halloween Party - at Charlie's house (and his parents and brother!). Z wouldn't go unless we drove. He lost it. So, he stayed home and napped for about 4 hours (with Mem and Auntie at home). The girls and I went. They had fun in the leaves, on a parade and eating. G did really well on the Ghost Toss game. She refused to play hot potato. A great time. Cold but good.

3. Trick or Treating. COLD night. Paupi came and helped us get around the neighborhood while getting in and out of his car - much warmer!

4. Home to "help" Mem and Auntie pass out candy (and toothpaste and Vote YES on 2 cards!).

Bedtime went well - with Auntie's help.

My birthmother is NOT a gorilla!

Tonight we went to pick up photos to take to the twins mother. In the packet, I'd also ordered photos for G and Z's birth mothers. I was in the front of the car showing the kids the photos when I told G that we were going to mail the ones of her to T*. She smiled.

Z piped up and said that he wants to send his to (stumbles on her unique name and then gets it right) D*. He had the biggest smile on his face thinking about sending his birth mother photos of HIM. OK, so maybe it was all about him but I was happy that

1. He knew he had a birth mother.

2. He liked the idea of sending her photos.

3. He knew she'd like to see photos of him (we saw her in June and July of this year - FL and AZ)

Then, he announces D* "is a girl. She's not a gorilla."

4. I was proud that he knew she was NOT a gorilla and that in fact she was female (he has problems with male/female; he/she concepts for some reason - for example, he lives in a house with all girls and calls all of the children "he".)

You should know that he was dead serious - about her NOT being a Gorilla! This wasn't a joke to him. Serious stuff. I was cracking up. He was being serious.

I called her to tell her this. She didn't get to the phone and was freaked out that something was wrong. We followed up by email and I am just so happy to have the chance to share these little stories with her from time-to-time.

Adoption doesn't mean abandonment - when one actually selects this option and makes an adoption plan for their child. Adoption (in our family) = love. She loves her birth son. I love him. He is loved. He knows that there is another person out there who loves him and I hope that this brings comfort to him in the future.

ETA: I'm also thankful that his birth mother is NOT a gorilla. I was thinking about that - LOLOL!!

The Best in the World

My son announced today:

"Mommy, I'm the best pooper in the whole world!!!"

So proud of himself.

In case he grows up to have "issues"

Tonight at dinner, my little guy started itching his arms. I looked. He did have a bug bite on his forearm (left). They'd played outside today. Bugs LOVE him. :(

He asked me to "itch" him. I told him I would in just a minute. I went over and rubbed his bug bite (versus digging it to death as he does!).

I went back to sitting in my chair and eating. He started yelling: The bugs are biting me! The bugs are biting me!

It was irrational.

I encouraged him to look at his arms. "Z- there are no bugs on your arms. Look!" He looked. He got panicky.

It was escalating.

I scooped him up. Took him to the couch for snuggle time and wrapped him in his "blanklet." He settled down. He snuggled in. He smiled.

Of course, "K" witnessed this and about 20 minutes later she tried to pull the "itchy, itchy, itchy" thing to get some snuggle time. I discouraged that behavior but later on, K and I had some huggy-buggy time.

Kids...I guess it is good that we can't see their future but sometimes I just wish I knew if these behaviors are deviations from normal that end up A-OK or pretty close to OK or if there is a disaster around the corner. It's probably best that I don't know, really!

Little Details - documenting the little things

Well, a month has passed since the girls' arrival. I can't believe a month has already gone by. wow! It's flying. They are doing so well here. Their vocabularies are expanding, they are laughing and playing and just last night - dancing WITH G & Z to the Fresh Beat Band!

My favorite K quote: "Mamamamammamamama! Squirrel on fence!" She can ride a bike with training wheels and both twins can ride the scooters (too early really).

M who couldn't recognize the front of a puzzle piece from the back a month ago can now do 10 piece puzzles and can match colors (fish puzzle).

K has had some regression to infantile behaviors (which I think is a good thing?). She's allowing/demanding that I rock her in my arms before bed. I sign to her. She flops her body like a baby. One night, she even started crawling. M has allowed me to do this twice this week. She watches. I was pleased when she whispered: "Me, too..." to the rocking/singing. I still hear crying and yelling in the night but it is getting better - or maybe I'm getting used to it.

G started preschool on 9.8.10. We went the day before to officially enroll her. She did well (stayed in the classroom for over an hour while I filled out paperwork-painted two pics and had goldfish for snack). She was so excited on her first day because they were having mac & cheese and broccoli for lunch. She came home very hungry. She refused to eat their mac & chees because "it isn't like the mac and cheese we have at home, Mom! It's yucky there. And, they didn't even cook the broccoli!" She did take a short nap during rest time. The teacher said she had a great first day and only about 10 mins before I picked her up had asked: "Isn't it time to go inside?" - they were playing outside and apparently she was ready for the day to be over. After her first day, I took her out for ice cream. She picked bubblegum ice cream. Nice 1:1 time.

She did say that she thinks that this school is the school for her!

She was reserved and quiet and didn't share a lot with me other than she liked painting the best. She was unhappy the next morning when I told her that she only goes to school 3 days a week. She was really ticked and wanted to go Thursday (that day) as well.

Here is my favorite quote from her first official day. She said this as we were up in the morning getting ready for school:

"I don't want to blink anymore. I miss things when I blink and I don't like missing things." - G

Classic.

I sent in my registration for the local Mothers of Multiples today. I'm encouraging another new friend, Stacey, to do the same. She is "expecting" twins - a foster placement late this year. The next meeting is a clothing sale which excites me!

We've been to McDonalds this month and had the McDonalds' (family) over for a playdate. We are having a yard sale on Saturday - purging the baby clothes and gear (I hope that doesn't come back to bite me!) and just living life. Busy. Loud. Appointments. Work. Need a haircut (who has time for that with 4 kids/single mom?)

Update on Z-man: He's maturing a little. Maybe this is how men learn to be quiet - having so many women around. I'm looking for a movie to take him to see (first in-theater movie) so we can have a Mom/Son date. He's sharing a room with Gianna - except, she is sleeping in my room at night (he wakes her up too much!). The twins have Z's old room. Musical rooms but it is working just fine.

Oral Injury

My poor baby boy.

The kids were playing, dancing and singing in the playroom tonight (6pm). They were having a great time. Yes, they were out of my sight but I could hear everything - or so I thought.

G came into the other room to announce that Z hurt his mouth. Z came up to me and pointed in his mouth with "owy" eyes. I tested his front teeth for movement. None. I kept look at the teeth. He kept pointing. I took him over to the window for better light. Then, I saw it. BLOOD all down his throat.

Injury to the palate. I felt around. It appears to be soft tissue but I was worried. I sent G to get Auntie - "Tell Auntie that Mama has a problem." Auntie came right away. The moral support is always good. She also went to get ice in a wet washcloth.

Z's eyes were afraid. I was calm but inside I was like: Oh crap. Did this puncture the bone? Does he need to go to the hospital? Does he have a brain injury?" Kids. They don't come with instruction manuals :(

Cause: He'd taken down the curtains. The tension rod that was holding them up had the plastic safety ends removed. He'd been dancing with a curtain rod in his mouth! In a room full of toys, he takes down the curtains!?!? The rod had cut his palatal tissue. aaaah!

I held him for an hour. He asked for medicine because it hurt. Tylenol on board. Ice helped stop the bleeding. Mama snuggles were soothing (for both of us).

And off to bed he went - not struggles. Tired eye rubbing.

I'm headed up now to check on him. Poor thing. :(

Heaven in the eyes of G with a Twist of Z :)

G always had a blind, childish faith. She loved Jesus and God and still does enjoy Christian music and reading her Bible.

Then, Easter came.

She no longer wants to go to heaven and since she knows that you have to pray for Jesus to go to heaven, she no longer wants to pray - at all - for fear that she'll go to heaven. Right now. Why? The whole death of Jesus thing at Easter was shared in Sunday School and she is freaked out!

She is convinced that heaven is a bad place - since it is far away from her family and friends.
"I don't want to go to heaven. I don't like Jesus. I'm not praying anymore."

When we pray at dinner, her eyes remain open and she looks around with the attitude of "I'm not participating, la, la, la." This is an improvement over the yelling - "No, Mama! Don't pray! I don't want you to go to heaven!!!" (fear in the voice)

:(

Then comes Z-man. Somehow he hasn't yet picked up on her new attitude of not liking heaven.

On Sunday I was walking down the stairs after retrieving clothes for church. Z was at the bottom of the stairs. He looks up and says: "Mama, I want to go to heaven."

me - you do?
Z- yes.
me - well, to go to heaven you need to pray for Jesus to take care of you and be in your heart.
Z- ok.

I say some things. He repeats after me.

G turns to him and gives him a hug and says "I'm going to miss you."
Z: "I miss you too. Bye."
G: "I will take pictures of everything here in the whole world. I'll send them to you, K?"
Z: "OK!" (with a big smile.) You send me pictures!?

He turns to me and has a look of "So, when are we leaving?'

I have the biggest smile on my face.
I respond with "Um, so who wants to get dressed?" and we are onto things like breakfast, shoes, church, lunch, etc...

So sweet.

(And no, I don't believe this was my 35 month old's profession of faith. Perhaps a practice session or something?)