Fall Fun!

Up early and got the car loaded. Kids up and out the door for 8 am dentist appts. Great to see some old friends there! Nice new office too. G did great - in the chair and did the whole big-girl appt...she's growing up. Z did knee-to-knee, a few tears but no real drama.

G has sl open bite/edge-to-edge and no space on maxilla.
Z has "typical paci" bite and also enamel hypoplasia on his lower 2 2nd primary molars. We'll see how the maxillary ones come in. Also, Dr. M doesn't have any clinical photos of a maxillary geminated tooth so we agreed that when he was a little older that we could snap one for his records! Then...raced to Mem's. Met the kids. Went apple picking out in Hope and then a picnic lunch at a nearby playground. The weather was PERFECT...and I mean really perfect. Slight breeze, clear blue skies and in the 70s. Just wonderful and no bugs!

A great day.

Z's teeth, words, etc - so I don't forget...

He cut one lower 2nd molar (need to check which - L or R) on 8/22.

He cut the opposite one on ~9/9/09.

Only two to go!

Other things:

He no longer calls his sister "nahna" but has switched to Dia.
'mear = come here
He has so many wonderful facial expressions when he's trying to get someone to do something (e.g., 'mear)

He's really, really attached to the blankey now and more to the paci (since the move). He rubs blaney under his nose and now cause a line in his upper lip from sucking on the paci. He does allow me to carry his blankey up and down stairs so he doesn't trip on it - willingly and without any drama!

He's started talking with his biological (maternal) grandfather via phone ~ once a week (Saturday afternoons now).

He runs with one arm moving quickly (like a punch) and all pulled up closer to his ear. He's fast.

He learned to roll down a hill last week - got grass all through his hair (but not as much as G's!)

He still stuffs his mouth with food and doesn't ever choke.
He's becoming very capable in many areas. Amazing. People don't expect as much as he can give/do.

Comments from Strangers

Well, moving to Maine I suspected (OK, knew) this would happen but it did. Is this week 3? And 2:3 in just one morning - a 3 hour outing.

#1
We went downtown (Portland, ME) and stopped at the farmer's market. An older woman stopped and asked: "Where did they come from?" referencing my kids. In my head I thought:

-The moon?
-My Vag*na
-None of your freakin' business?
-Who are you? What is wrong with you?

Answer: We are from Arizona.

Then, I realized she was essentially wearing a low-end snowmobile outfit with winter boots - in the city in September. Now, it was chilly today. We wore sweaters (and capris/shorts). There was something mentally wrong with this woman. I shrugged it off and went about our business. I think she just verbalized what others must think.

Then...
#2:
We went to the library and in the middle of reading my two kids a book a disheveled looking woman in a pink sweatshirt who was in her 30s or maybe 40 interupted:

"Excuse me."
Yes?
"You are soooo beautiful." Directed at Gianna. She asked how old she was and then how older brother was. Innocent and sweet Gianna answered all of this stranger's questions. I sat and watched her, my kids, my purse and smelled the tobacco roll off of her (and she wasn't even that close to me!).

Apparently all of her questions to my child were complete so she turned to me and stated:
"Their father must be pretty dark, hugh?"

I paused (you'd all be so proud, I paused - they say that is a sign of wisdom but I did it for emphasis).

I stared at her.
(I thought of saying some wild things like: "Nope, he's a red-headed Irishman but that isn't exactly true.)

I quietly and calmly without much emotion in my voice said:
"That's a really personal question."
I looked at her for a moment and went back to reading to my lovely children.
She got the point and walked away.

#3 (+):
We left and a lovely man sitting on the corner waiting for someone/something spoke to Gianna in the kindest tone and said:
"Your hair is beautiful."
(This was NOT one of those - Oh my word, I've never seen a white woman with an ethnically mixed child and I'm going to say something so I'm going to comment on her hair. Nope.
This was a black man with his ethnically mixed little boy who was openly being kind to my child. So calm and gentle and nice.). Gianna smiled and we went to our car.

So....it happened. Classless.

Salt & Light

The passage in Matthew has been on my mind for a week.

Matthew 5:13-16:
You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? ... You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hid... Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.

Can't wrap my head around it but here is what I've got so far:

Salt: gives flavor to things that are bland; preserves; and heals wounds.

Light: illuminates the darkness; shines as God does.

We are to be salt & light in this world.

To provide something better/tastier than the world offers and to point toward God??

christart.com

Lost It

So...I lost it yesterday. Why? I seriously feel like I can't get ahead in this house. So, after the kids' naps yesterday, I decided to deal with their out of control bedrooms - specifically the clothing (I can't really do this job when they are sleeping as I need their rooms).

...Yes - I said rooms. As of a couple of days ago, G is now in her own room in a twin bed. Makes me sad that my baby is out of her crib...but she is 3.5+ years old. I made the switch because Z-man climb out of the pack-n-play he's been in for 2 weeks (since our move). He climbed out, opened the bedrooms door (first time), and went down one flight of stairs. I heard a tiny, sweet voice say "Mama?" as I was in the basement. I ran and found him at the top of the basement stairs. I was thankful he wasn't hurt BUT...I instructed him to "get in your room!!" He hung his head and marched up the back stairs. I just wanted to scoop him up and love on him for obeying but...I refrained. I needed to let him find his way upstairs. Half way up, he started crying - big tears and all. He was remorseful. I picked him up and hugged him. I love him.

OK...end of that rabbit trail....
Naps ended. I started piling clothes by:
child
current or future
season - now or winter
type: pants/shorts, long sleeved/short sleeved, sweater, etc...

I had these piles everywhere. I asked G & Z to throw dirty items down the back stairs. All went well until I turned around and found them throwing all of my neatly piled clothes down the stairs into the heap of "things to be washed."

I know they were trying to help. They had the sweatest faces - especially G. But...it was my breaking point. I just went to my room and cried for 20-30 seconds. G came and rubbed my leg (a nurse in training here?). I composed myself and went back to my task. This is not like me so I knew I had to get it together before they were both scarred.

The clothes are mostly in the right places but pretty much NONE are folded - just shoved in the right drawers. Hey....progress?

What are your hopes for your child?

Have you ever written them down?

I read the following this morning and although I like much of it, it got me thinking about my specific hopes for my children. Please, add your reaction and your hopes/dreams for your child. I'll add mine later (got to get some photos uploaded)!

"My goal is for them to grow up to be happy with who they are, to be able to support themselves to their satisfaction without needing help from anyone, and to be contributing members of society." - http://chinaadopttalk.com/

So much to write about...I'll start with hair

Well, we have moved. We are in our new home (over a week now). I'd say we are 70% moved in/unpacked. I lost steam at the end of last week and took the weekend off. Bob has been a GREAT help in getting "projects" done.

Last night, Rylee came for a sleepover. This was a big deal for both girls. Events included:
outside play in our tree house/on our swings, a walk through the "jungle" (aka the right side of our backyard), apple picking in our back yard; inside play; making English Muffin Pizzas & eating together; more outside play along with the neighbor girls (Mave and I....-something). Bathtime and a little TV time before bed.

The girls bathed together (Zade had his screaming/stand-up bath prior to theirs and it lasted less than 3 mins because he just hates it!). Then the girls had a great time. I washed G's hair first (really just conditioned it) and then washed Rylee's hair. Rylee asked me: "How did G's hair get like that?" I said she was born with curly hair. Rylee announced that her hair was curly too (and it is). Then she said, "I wish my hair was like G's."

I loved their innocence and I loved how that comment brightened my child's face/helped her confidence. In a world that uses "bad hair" as a term, I'm happy that my child HAS HAIR (picture: congenital defects that result in little or no hair, people with cancer with NO HAIR, etc.) and that she has beautiful hair. I'm so glad that she lives in a family where at least one other child likes her hair. Our conversation went on to talk about how God made us just the way we are. I have blonde hair with a little wave, Rylee has brown hair with medium curls at the ends and G was born with brown hair with lots of curls.

It was a great day. I was frustrated by a little boy who just doesn't listen, obey or respect my authority most of the time but the girls were so well behaved and had a great time! As they ate dinner together at the island in our kitchen, I looked at them and thought...hmmmm....three kids looks so good. I wonder if our family will someday have another....

Pool man is coming this morning to open the pool. I'm excited and the girls are REALLY excited!

Fall is in the air so I'm not sure how many swimming days we'll get in before we need to close it for the winter but....

One Year: Measured in 2 Photos (& tons of emotions)

A year ago today, we buried my niece, ARH. Publically we "did the right thing." We didn't say what we really wanted to say. We acted as others expected. We wore pretty clothes.

Privately, we buried our niece with our own hands. We blew bubbles, sang children's songs, read scriptures, hugged our remaining children, sobbed and held each other.

Love. Tears. Sorrow.

Today, I will purchase this house and begin the journey of making it our home. We will move in either today or tomorrow (whenever the truck arrives).

New beginnings. New memories. Always tied to the past and always missing...

But through tears we have: Love. Hope.



In case you are wondering - It's about Love (aka God) and Family. Period.
That is it.

In Maine

Well, we are in Maine. Arrived at my mom's ~130 am on Wednesday morning (after being locked out of the car and calling AAA/Locksmith).

Relaxed Thursday.

Kids and I ate a picnic at the ocean and then ice-cream at Dorman's.

Friday was a day to hang out with a bunch of kiddos ages 1-5.

Saturday has been rain, rain, rain. We found warmer clothes in Mom's basement (yeah!). Ours are in the truck somewhere in Kansas being driven to our new home. We have done NOTHING today - first time in weeks and it is wonderful. The kids really needed a day like this (as did their mother!)

Speaking of the truck, Mom & Bob's truck broke down in Kansas for a while but it got repaired quickly (thank God they were in a town with a Penske repair place - Salina, KS).

There is a goof-up with my final paycheck at work (deposited on Friday). Please pray that it can be corrected by 1pm EDT on Monday so that I can close on our new home (They still owe me a LARGE chunk of money that was confirmed prior to moving and yet not included in my final check as both outlined in University policy and as confirmed in writing by the HR Dept...and I need it to close the house!).

Otherwise, uneventful. ;)

Headed to get ready to go out in the rain with the kids, I think. Hmmm...Maybe.

Saying Good-Bye...

I'm a little bummed that I didn't plan a going away party. I did have three fun meals yesterday:

1. Breakfast - with Janet - one of my coworkers. Cracker Barrel in Ahwatuke. It was work related but we had a nice time!

2. Lunch with Jerry C. - the dentist I worked with at the health dept for >5 years. It was sooo great to catch up and I'm so glad we both made an effort to get together. I've missed Jerry. We haven't seen each other in a while.

We met at a newer restaurant in one of my old 'hoods - The Parlor. It's an old beauty parlor called Venus. The interior is really neat (I'd just love to photograph it). Great yummy salad. Good company. Neat history to the building. Good times. BTW - Those of you looking for a different place to eat or "go out" in the evenings - I'd recommend this one! Camelback and 20th St.

3. Dinner at Klud & Fiaz's. Klud has been telling me for years that she'd teach me to cook some of her yummy food. Well, yesterday was the day. Met at 4pm. Learned how to make 2 meals. Had a great time. Again, good people (her whole family and a friend as well as my kids).

There are so many people to see and so little time left. :(

I also had a nice "chat" with Don - the guy who hired me and the one who "brought me to AZ!" Then, I helped him as she transitioned to the dental school. I know we'll see each other again. Strange times.

Happy Half Birthday, G!

She's now officially 3.5 yrs. The plan was a cupcake celebration tonight BUT flexibility with parenting landed G at Daddy's house for dinner and the night tonight. Tomorrow night won't work. Wednesday would work but doesn't that just lose the meaning? Anyway...my baby is growing up! :(

Her best buddy at daycare who is 10 days older started preschool today. G is not going to preschool until next year. Why? IMHO, We make kids grow up too quickly and well, I'm OK with her staying "little" another year. One year of preschool will be just fine! But...that means she is officially the oldest kid at daycare and all the rest of "little". Time for her to move on. She has 2 more weeks at daycare and then a BIG move. Sad but time.

Happy Half Birthday, Baby G!

Family Adventure: Road Trip

A great weekend was had by all. Auntie, kids and I did a road trip to Southern AZ. I haven't spent a lot of time down there and with the impending move, I didn't want to miss it!

We left on Saturday. Went to Tucson. Drove around (J had never been there). Ate at a funky place - yummy, yummy, healthy food - near UofA. Escaped the location as a jumbo container of bleach fell.

Drove to Benson, AZ and went directly to Wal-Mart. Why? The hotel we'd booked that said they had a crib - um, didn't! So, now we own ANOTHER one - I don't even like (bad fabric). Might return/exchange it. Tried to take a nap. Wasn't successful. Went into the "hot" tub that was slightly warmer than the frigid pool. Kids had fun. Went to Deny's for dinner. Can you believe it? It was close, easy and open late.

Morning - ate at the hotel - continental breakfast, a warm hot tub, no crib but two beds and a bathroom all for $49....wooohooo! Middle of nowhere. We woke up. Jumped on our beds. Laughed. Got dressed. Packed up and headed out.

First stop: Tombstone. Got there just in time to see a gun fight. Ate a fried/unhealthy lunch while we watched the fight. Got the kids ear plug - G was impressed with those. I was impressed that the kids didn't get scared. Took some pics. Walked around the town. Saw people dressed in period clothing - I thought that was neat and on a different trip (no kids), I'd have had so much fun just photographing them. Pretty good lighting and all! Got ice-creams (thanks Auntie!). Ate outside while Z cried/screamed. Threw his away. Nap time? Headed out. Z slept in the car!

Drove all around the "middle of nowhere". One wrong turn but then we were back on the right trail. Landed in Patagonia at a lake 7 miles out of town. Rented a boat. Drove/floated it around for an hour or so. (Kids still hate the boats - Z a little less than G). Headed over to the beach area. G LOVED swimming with Auntie. Z - um, looked like a big bath tub to him = tears! He eventually warmed up. He liked throwing mud, rocks and sand the best but eventually went in first with Mama and then with Auntie. I realized it was their first time swimming at a lake! Good times.

Back into the car. To Nogales, AZ - saw the border but without passports in hand, we headed North. Stopped at San Xavier Indian chapel place. Nice sunset pics (and a pee stop for G). Headed north. Was unsure where we'd sleep but eventually realized that we were close enough to home to make it. Did a drive through McD's for the kids (can you believe it???). Ate at home and to bed for all but not before watching fireworks out the window - Scared the crap out of the kids!

And a place I'd visited and I'd forgotten...
Great weekend. My kind of trip. Adventure! Exploration. Little planning. History, water, gun fights, a lake, a boat, an Indian Reservation, some photography, ice-cream, jumping on beds, laughing, sunsets, simple family fun! And, did you know that there are vineyards in AZ? Yup!

Comments

Last night we enjoyed a WONDERFUL evening at the new Children's Museum of Phoenix. I'd been meaning to go there all year. I even planned one outing and then someone got sick. Last night was the night!

On the first Friday of each month, the museum opens free to the public - 6-10pm. We arrived at 620pm and had to wait for about 90 minutes to get in. Apparently, they only take in the first 600 at a time and then the rest get a ticket and get to come in by number.

It was difficult at first but then the kids got to see a magician, G got to try out shooting a rocket and they both played with sidewalk chalk in the outside ampitheater. Thankfully, it was not super hot last night! It was also nice to see such diversity in cultures, languages and economic groups. Well, once inside (and after retracing our steps to find Z's lost shoe) the kids had a blast!

The Museum is in the old Monroe School in downtown Phoenix. There are three floors of activities including a wee-ones room where Z had freedom!, an art room, a building room (building with PVC piping - both liked this), a flower garden area, a market and kitchen and so much more. It was a great evening. When we got to the car, I was shocked to see the time: 9:48pm! What?? Kids did well.

Comments - I sometimes wonder if people think I'm deaf. Seriously. If you stand right beside or behind me and speak out loud, I'm probably going to hear you. When standing in line, these two women and their combined four children appeared right behind us. They were nice women with nice children. There was a little one who I learned was born the same week as Z so of course I focused on her - size and development. I spoke a couple of times to the women but they weren't super receptive so I just watched the kids. I was pretty sure that they were Christians - at least one - based on her reaction to a situation.

Then came the words: "Do you think we'll ever be extinct?" one said to the other. I couldn't help but listen - they were right behind me! They were talking about my kids being mixed race. They assumed they were both biracial (a common assumption as the kids don't walk around with signs stating: Adopted/Siblings/Biologically Unrelated..........) After some pondering of the topic, they joked - "Nope, we still have all of those Africans in Africa." These two well educated, successful black Christian women didn't like it that I was the mother of G & Z.

While still standing in the line, I had an opportunity to comment on the two littlest kids (the little girl and Z). I made a point to tell them that he is Puerto Rican. "Oh!" they said. I made my point but come on.... As a fellow blogger and mother of 3 lovely girls from Haiti (Cate) recently pointed out on her blog, why is it always the black women? Seriously - I didn't believe it but now that my kids are getting older - those are the looks and comments. Not 100% of the time but seriously, many black women tick me off with their looks and comments.

What am I missing here? Are you threatened? Is it cultural? Do you perceive me to be doing something wrong in raising my kiddos? We are all people. I can't help it if this world has been unfair during the course of history. I respect it and acknowledge it. I'll definitely teach my kids about it. But, I can't change it. We are all people with the same basic needs and desires. Now, I'm off to raise a future black woman...Lord, help me!