A Fun Day - 5.24.10 - Beach & Soccer

Coaches Rykea, Frieda, Jim & ? (front)

Kids: Briana, Gianna, Lea & Zach - all the other kids ran to show their parents their popsicles.

The best part of the night for me was when Frieda said - "There's Gianna - the girl that always had great new hairstyles." And then it was over. I was tickled inside especially coming from an African woman.

Soccer: Boring

One of the drills was fun. The other was not. G looked over at me and yelled: BORING!

Oh well, they ended the night well in a big group fun activity so that was good.

Rules

Not sure I've ever blogged on this topic before but here it is.

In our home we have three rules. Why? It makes it easier for me to remember and the kids actually know them and Gianna can recite them:

1. You must obey.
2. You must be kind.
3. Mama does what Mama says.

You must be kind also includes: You can't beat, bite, hit or otherwise hurt anyone in our family including your brother/sister. I sometimes remind them of this by saying: "We don't hurt other people in our family because that isn't kind."...attempting to link the action to rule #2.

I hope this still works as they age (again, because I can remember three rules). For example, we are kind to our own bodies, to our friends, etc. We don't have a set bed time mostly because they can't tell time. Generally, they go to bed between 7 and 730. But, when they are a little older and begin to argue with why it is bedtime I can come back to either rule 1 or 2. Use the "children obey your parent(s)" line for rule #1 or another approach that empowers them to be responsible...We are kind to our bodies and therefore you need to go to sleep because yours needs rest.

Those of you with older children can laugh at that last line if you want but in the start of my 5th year of parenting this is working for me :).

Just thought I'd share. Summary: Simplify wherever you can and for our family, this works.

PS - The photo is from our visit to the circus this past week. Kids had a blast. Gianna was analytical without smiles until we left and then announced that she loved it and didn't want to leave; Zade got to ride a pony and this was the highlight of his week! Both got snowcones and we even came in under budget for this event! We took our own glow in the dark arm bands. Auntie & Memae came too. Oh what fun!

Fall Fun!

Up early and got the car loaded. Kids up and out the door for 8 am dentist appts. Great to see some old friends there! Nice new office too. G did great - in the chair and did the whole big-girl appt...she's growing up. Z did knee-to-knee, a few tears but no real drama.

G has sl open bite/edge-to-edge and no space on maxilla.
Z has "typical paci" bite and also enamel hypoplasia on his lower 2 2nd primary molars. We'll see how the maxillary ones come in. Also, Dr. M doesn't have any clinical photos of a maxillary geminated tooth so we agreed that when he was a little older that we could snap one for his records! Then...raced to Mem's. Met the kids. Went apple picking out in Hope and then a picnic lunch at a nearby playground. The weather was PERFECT...and I mean really perfect. Slight breeze, clear blue skies and in the 70s. Just wonderful and no bugs!

A great day.

Comments

Last night we enjoyed a WONDERFUL evening at the new Children's Museum of Phoenix. I'd been meaning to go there all year. I even planned one outing and then someone got sick. Last night was the night!

On the first Friday of each month, the museum opens free to the public - 6-10pm. We arrived at 620pm and had to wait for about 90 minutes to get in. Apparently, they only take in the first 600 at a time and then the rest get a ticket and get to come in by number.

It was difficult at first but then the kids got to see a magician, G got to try out shooting a rocket and they both played with sidewalk chalk in the outside ampitheater. Thankfully, it was not super hot last night! It was also nice to see such diversity in cultures, languages and economic groups. Well, once inside (and after retracing our steps to find Z's lost shoe) the kids had a blast!

The Museum is in the old Monroe School in downtown Phoenix. There are three floors of activities including a wee-ones room where Z had freedom!, an art room, a building room (building with PVC piping - both liked this), a flower garden area, a market and kitchen and so much more. It was a great evening. When we got to the car, I was shocked to see the time: 9:48pm! What?? Kids did well.

Comments - I sometimes wonder if people think I'm deaf. Seriously. If you stand right beside or behind me and speak out loud, I'm probably going to hear you. When standing in line, these two women and their combined four children appeared right behind us. They were nice women with nice children. There was a little one who I learned was born the same week as Z so of course I focused on her - size and development. I spoke a couple of times to the women but they weren't super receptive so I just watched the kids. I was pretty sure that they were Christians - at least one - based on her reaction to a situation.

Then came the words: "Do you think we'll ever be extinct?" one said to the other. I couldn't help but listen - they were right behind me! They were talking about my kids being mixed race. They assumed they were both biracial (a common assumption as the kids don't walk around with signs stating: Adopted/Siblings/Biologically Unrelated..........) After some pondering of the topic, they joked - "Nope, we still have all of those Africans in Africa." These two well educated, successful black Christian women didn't like it that I was the mother of G & Z.

While still standing in the line, I had an opportunity to comment on the two littlest kids (the little girl and Z). I made a point to tell them that he is Puerto Rican. "Oh!" they said. I made my point but come on.... As a fellow blogger and mother of 3 lovely girls from Haiti (Cate) recently pointed out on her blog, why is it always the black women? Seriously - I didn't believe it but now that my kids are getting older - those are the looks and comments. Not 100% of the time but seriously, many black women tick me off with their looks and comments.

What am I missing here? Are you threatened? Is it cultural? Do you perceive me to be doing something wrong in raising my kiddos? We are all people. I can't help it if this world has been unfair during the course of history. I respect it and acknowledge it. I'll definitely teach my kids about it. But, I can't change it. We are all people with the same basic needs and desires. Now, I'm off to raise a future black woman...Lord, help me!