The Best in the World

My son announced today:

"Mommy, I'm the best pooper in the whole world!!!"

So proud of himself.

God loves me!!

After church today, M got in the car and announced: "God loves me!" With a hug smile on her face. My heart leapt. Then K said: "God loves K_____!" Well, yes he does!

We went down the path of all the people that God loves. What a lovely Sunday afternoon discussion. I couldn't have been happier. Great job church staff!

This was the 2nd week that the girls stayed in the "nursery" at church since they arrived. I left them in G and Z's class with instructions to move them to the toddler room when they moved onto the lesson (like last time). However, when I returned all 4 kids were in the same room. I got a report that the twins cried for a minute or two for "gramma" and then were comforted by Gianna. Yes - the flexibility proves SOOOO important in traumatized kids. I can't stress this enough to big churches...those ones who have "rules" about which kids go in which rooms. I digress.


They also reported that Gianna prayed in Sunday school today and did a great job answering questions. Z-man - well, he hadn't even removed his coat when I returned.



I have learned that if either twin needs a diaper change, I will go and do it. They are just NOT OK with someone else (a stranger) doing it and well, it promotes our bonding. I know the teachers find this weird BUT they don't know our entire story.



We went to buy a new bed for K. She's unwilling to sleep in her bed - the one that came from her original home. I'm not sure why but Mom, Auntie and I have been discussing her nightly screaming and I just think this is a good idea. I found one on Craigslist and I drove the 40 minutes to pick it up this afternoon. It was a nice ride for the kids and I on a rainy Sunday afternoon. Let's see if it works... She was pretty excited to get it but when we got in the driveway, she announced that she wasn't going to sleep in it.



We played in the driveway with chalk - a VERY exciting thing for all three girls and well, Zade drew some too. We painted, did markers on a white board and the pumpkin bread is currently baking. Such a simple day. A day of rest - the modern rest.



Also, so I don't forget dates - 9.25 - a major development in the twin's case. Issues with their mom. We'll see where this ends up. No visit with extended family this weekend -first week without that.

What are people thinking? Pie holes.

On Sunday, the kids and I were out and about. We hit a few late yard sales and then we went grocery shopping. What else can you do with 3 kids with rip-roaring colds? Expose everyone in the grocery store (not church) of course.

I'm pushing the "car" carriage. 4 kids IN the cart piled with food and supplies (note, I always get the 2 cases of diapers last as they pose a HUGE balancing act). I'm headed toward the check out when some nice lady stops and says:

"Wow. Please don't tell me that you have like 2 more at home or something. That's it, right?"

I paused and said: "Nope. Four blessings for me. That is it!"

I should have said other things. I refrained.

What if I had 10 more at home? OK, so I'd be nuts BUT still. Come on.

Yes, we take up a lot of space and we're kind of loud BUT we are a loving family and they were all behaved (at that moment). And what will happen when they really understand what people are saying about them? Think about your words and what the little ears hear and can understand. Shutting your pie hole is also a good option sometimes. (Sorry if that was offensive....well, kind of).

Oh what a night...discipline?!?!

So tonight I had to just run to the store and pick up trash bags and bandaids. It is had just been bandaids, I'd have skipped it but trash bags around here are kind of important. Nearly an hour later, the five of us arrived home. It was 650 and waaay past time for dinner. I'd already planned to do my last minute emergency dinner option - frozen pizza (yes, I know it is an unhealthy option but it happens every 6-8 weeks and nobody is dead...yet). But I changed my mind and it would be a quick bowl of cereal night. With milk. Maybe a piece of fruit.

G had a meltdown because I gave her the wrong bowl - at least not the pink bowl. I'm so tired of pink bowls, cups, plates and utensils. Why? They cause conflict. We either need every one to be pink or I need to get rid of the pink ones. Seriously.

I warned her to stop. I told her the consequence would be no dinner. She didn't listen. She spiraled. She yelled - "I don't want that bowl."

I calmly picked it up, carried the bowl of cereal and milk to the garbage disposal and dumped it down the sink. She lost it. I turned and said: "Be careful what you say, G. You told me you didn't want the pink bowl. I took care of that. Your dinner is now over. Got up stairs for bed."

Can you imagine the response? Yeah, it was bad.

I stuck to my guns. I put my daughter to bed without dinner for the first time ever. It was appropriate. I REALLY hope she learns from this.

I nearly caved. I almost want to wake her up and give her some crackers because I know her tummy is so very hungry.
____

The other lovely (not) thing that happened tonight was:
After we got home with the stuff from the store, they all wanted to help, not listen, be crazy kids. Not a single one listened to the simple directions: Put on an apron. Get in a chair.

Finally, I'd had enough and broke my no swearing at/around the kids rule and raised my voice with this: "Damn It! Listen!" G turns and sweetly and calmly says: "I'm not Damn-it-listen, Mama." To witch I responded, No you aren't honey. That was a bad word that Mama said. Please don't say it again. I'm so so sorry.

aaaaaahhhh....One of my finest parenting evenings.

I'm a big fan of natural consequences. I think this approach can teach so many important lessons. Well, I experienced on that just seemed so odd in the end. "K" dropped her spoon intentionally at dinner. I warned her. She did it anyway. Then she looked at me. I told her she'd have to eat her cereal without a spoon. Eat with your hands. She did. She finished her food. Calmly. Quietly.

However, it was painful. Why? I have a feeling that in her 2.5 years before landing here, she ate many meals with those hands - meals that should have had utensils but...just didn't. The natural consequence didn't mean anything to her. Why? It was normal - typical - A-OK to her to eat without a spoon. I guess it wasn't discipline. It was encouraging an ingrained poor behavior/experience she'd already had. Bummer.

_____________
On another note, fostering children can bring so many dynamics. Today, I had the opportunity to demonstrate love to the little girls' mother. She has dental needs and will age out of the state Medicaid program shortly. I was able to get her into a clinic and she had her first appointment today. She's going to need a series of appointments. I'm happy that she is getting this taken care of and I think she is happy to have someone care about HER needs - I don't think that happens very often.

Of course, other things happened today in the case (that I can't discuss). Things might get messy for a while. I can't believe we are losing our case worker in a week and 1 day! Right when things are getting messy!!! :(

In case he grows up to have "issues"

Tonight at dinner, my little guy started itching his arms. I looked. He did have a bug bite on his forearm (left). They'd played outside today. Bugs LOVE him. :(

He asked me to "itch" him. I told him I would in just a minute. I went over and rubbed his bug bite (versus digging it to death as he does!).

I went back to sitting in my chair and eating. He started yelling: The bugs are biting me! The bugs are biting me!

It was irrational.

I encouraged him to look at his arms. "Z- there are no bugs on your arms. Look!" He looked. He got panicky.

It was escalating.

I scooped him up. Took him to the couch for snuggle time and wrapped him in his "blanklet." He settled down. He snuggled in. He smiled.

Of course, "K" witnessed this and about 20 minutes later she tried to pull the "itchy, itchy, itchy" thing to get some snuggle time. I discouraged that behavior but later on, K and I had some huggy-buggy time.

Kids...I guess it is good that we can't see their future but sometimes I just wish I knew if these behaviors are deviations from normal that end up A-OK or pretty close to OK or if there is a disaster around the corner. It's probably best that I don't know, really!

Little Details - documenting the little things

Well, a month has passed since the girls' arrival. I can't believe a month has already gone by. wow! It's flying. They are doing so well here. Their vocabularies are expanding, they are laughing and playing and just last night - dancing WITH G & Z to the Fresh Beat Band!

My favorite K quote: "Mamamamammamamama! Squirrel on fence!" She can ride a bike with training wheels and both twins can ride the scooters (too early really).

M who couldn't recognize the front of a puzzle piece from the back a month ago can now do 10 piece puzzles and can match colors (fish puzzle).

K has had some regression to infantile behaviors (which I think is a good thing?). She's allowing/demanding that I rock her in my arms before bed. I sign to her. She flops her body like a baby. One night, she even started crawling. M has allowed me to do this twice this week. She watches. I was pleased when she whispered: "Me, too..." to the rocking/singing. I still hear crying and yelling in the night but it is getting better - or maybe I'm getting used to it.

G started preschool on 9.8.10. We went the day before to officially enroll her. She did well (stayed in the classroom for over an hour while I filled out paperwork-painted two pics and had goldfish for snack). She was so excited on her first day because they were having mac & cheese and broccoli for lunch. She came home very hungry. She refused to eat their mac & chees because "it isn't like the mac and cheese we have at home, Mom! It's yucky there. And, they didn't even cook the broccoli!" She did take a short nap during rest time. The teacher said she had a great first day and only about 10 mins before I picked her up had asked: "Isn't it time to go inside?" - they were playing outside and apparently she was ready for the day to be over. After her first day, I took her out for ice cream. She picked bubblegum ice cream. Nice 1:1 time.

She did say that she thinks that this school is the school for her!

She was reserved and quiet and didn't share a lot with me other than she liked painting the best. She was unhappy the next morning when I told her that she only goes to school 3 days a week. She was really ticked and wanted to go Thursday (that day) as well.

Here is my favorite quote from her first official day. She said this as we were up in the morning getting ready for school:

"I don't want to blink anymore. I miss things when I blink and I don't like missing things." - G

Classic.

I sent in my registration for the local Mothers of Multiples today. I'm encouraging another new friend, Stacey, to do the same. She is "expecting" twins - a foster placement late this year. The next meeting is a clothing sale which excites me!

We've been to McDonalds this month and had the McDonalds' (family) over for a playdate. We are having a yard sale on Saturday - purging the baby clothes and gear (I hope that doesn't come back to bite me!) and just living life. Busy. Loud. Appointments. Work. Need a haircut (who has time for that with 4 kids/single mom?)

Update on Z-man: He's maturing a little. Maybe this is how men learn to be quiet - having so many women around. I'm looking for a movie to take him to see (first in-theater movie) so we can have a Mom/Son date. He's sharing a room with Gianna - except, she is sleeping in my room at night (he wakes her up too much!). The twins have Z's old room. Musical rooms but it is working just fine.