Changes in our World

How can I possibly be the mother of a 5 year old - already? Today is G's 5th birthday. She's been waiting to be 5 for a while - so she can ride the school bus! Today is the day. This day always makes me sad. I'm happy but I'm sad - that so much time has gone by already and that she is growing up. On the other hand, I'm happy that she is such a kind hearted little girl.

Now, if I could only get her to stop sitting on her siblings! GROSS!

I love you Sweet, Sweet, G!

Today also marks our last day as a house of 7. Today is my sister's last day of living with us. She moved home for the year while her fiance was deployed. She leaves on Friday to journey to CA where they will begin the next phase of their lives.

J (my sister) has lived with me off and on since she went to college. She'll be 25 in a few weeks.
She's lived with us most of the time since Z-man was 6 months old. Her leaving is going to be a big loss for me. I LOVE her and want her nearby. But, those are my wants and my desires. Her leaving will be an even bigger loss for the kids - especially Z-man and M. She's taking G for a princess pedicure later today - a happy birthday present but also a good bye, I love you niece. My eyes are teary as I type this.

Yesterday marked the last day of:
4, 3, 2, 2.
Today marks the first of 4 days of:
5, 3, 2, 2.
Monday marks the first day of: 5, 3, 3, 3 as the twins will turn 3. This will last until Z's birthday in July when we'll move on to 5, 4, 3, 3.

2 years, 4 days.
3 women, no 4, no 5, no 6.
3 birth mothers
1 mom
1 auntie
1 memae

All significant in the lives of 4 children. 3 girls and a boy.

At lunch today, my sister said: You know, if you go for #5 you'll seal the "staying single" deal. Seriously, you have really pushed it with 4. A man walking into a family with 5 very young kids is very unlikely. Do you honstly think you are going to find a husband with 4 kids - let alone 5?

No. I'm not going to find a husband. A Daddy for my kids. A friend. A lover. A missionary/ministry partner. A husband. You are right! The only way that I will find that person is if God brings him to me! He works miracles - not me!

(If anyone wants to pray about that, prayers are being encouraged in this department. I'm at the point where I think I've "healed" and I'm ready to move on. Now...it's God's timing. Wait - it has always been His timing!)

5. She's FIVE! She'll go to school this year. She'll ride a school bus. She'll be exposed to new germs and get new sicknesses. She'll leave her friends. She'll make new friends. She'll grow. She'll change. What happened to that little 8 pound (perfectly 8 pounds!) package that used to fit on my shoulder with her butt in the palm of my hand? Where is she? What is His plan for her life?

Lord, please bless our family of 7 as we become a home of 6. Please keep Johnna healthy and safe and may she know how very much she is loved as she transitions to wifehood. I continue to pray for your hand in the preparation of my future husband (if that is your will). May your timing be perfect and may I accept your special gift, guidance and timing in this matter. Prepare all of our hearts. Please give me strength as I parents 4 small children. Please also, heal my friend Tammy as she recovers from her 3 surgeries and prepares for a 4th (and hopefully, final).

I pray for wisdom and guidance for court next week. May your will be done in the twins' lives. Protect their hearts. Provide wisdom and perserverence for me in caring for their complex needs.

Please protect Z-man's heart as he continues to ask me about his Daddy including when he can meet his Daddy. Thank you for some progress in his behaviors Please help those to continue and for the selfish, uncontrolled behaviors to GO AWAY!

Lord, I know that change is inevitable. Protect us as we go through these changes.

I love you!